Sunday, August 21, 2011

We're back!

I've got a big backlog of celebrity couples I've been wanting to look up. Will be updating very soon. :)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The 27 Club is NOT About the Saturn Return

If you're like me, you've probably been wondering all day about what might have killed Amy Winehouse. Was it a suicide? An accidental overdose of who-knows-what? Was it all the years of crack? All the years of alcohol abuse? All the years of eating disorders?

I decided to pull out my tarot cards and I kept getting cards pointing to food (maybe her eating disorder(s)) and drink (alcohol). Weird, huh? I would have suspected the crack. Maybe my tarot cards are malfunctioning. They do that a lot.

But one thing I wanted to talk about was this idea of a "27 Club." Everyone keeps wrongly attributing the phenomenon to the Saturn Return. Your Saturn Return doesn't hit til you are 29, or maybe even 30! It never starts at 27. The deaths at 27 cannot be related to the Saturn Return. Not really.

What does happen at 27 is something called the Progressed Lunar Return. I didn't understand it's significance until it happened to me. It's hard for me to imagine that this period would make anyone want to self-destruct. During my lunar return, I felt better about myself than I ever have. I felt complete. It's like an emotional awakening of sorts. BUT. . .and this might be the key, I felt more emotionally vulnerable than I ever had in my life. It's just that the feelings I experienced were mostly pleasant. I have the same problems as anybody else, but I am not a deeply troubled, self-destructive person. I'm mostly emotionally healthy, with a good foundation. The Moon rules your family, mother, emotions, fertility, and so on.

But I think these troubled rock stars (and others - the 27 club is not exclusive to famous people) might get cracked wide open during this time. People with Lunar problems in their charts are prone to addictions. That's the first place you look to when you see a self-destructive, addictive person - what's going on with their Moon? Addictions are about stuffing feelings. In the progressed lunar return, they can't be stuffed.

That's the best explanation I can think of.

Some people say the Lunar Return prepares you for the events that will take place during your Saturn Return. I'm not so sure I see how that would astrologically make sense, but I can say this was absolutely, bizarrely true in my own life. The events on the exact day of my Progressed Lunar Return are directly related to the events the occurred during the exact week of my Saturn Return.

So those are my thoughts on the 27 Club. It's about the Moon, not Saturn!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Engagement of William and Kate: Yes, they really did it!

So, as the whole world knows, Kate Middleton and Prince William are now officially engaged!

They have 3 Heartbreak Clashes in their synastry chart. One is really, really bad. Three is, well, you know.

If they get married next year, their marriage chart will have a Heartbreak Clash, as well. The two of them are having a Heartbreak transit next year. Kate's is in the spring and the summer, Williams' is just a little later in the year.

There really is no good time for them to get married next year, astrologically speaking. The last time they both had Heartbreak transits was in the late winter/early spring of 2007, when they famously broke up.

Once a royal engagement has been set in motion, it's pretty impossible to stop. So, according to the astrology, this is another royal marriage that will end in divorce and heartbreak.

For comparison, Charles and Diana only had one Heartbreak Clash in their synastry, and they married during a time when they both had good transits. And we all know how badly that ended.

I think it's the curse of the royals. They can't have normal relationships like us. Marriage and babies is their business. You marry a Prince and it's not just a relationship, it's a job. I think the royals get pressured by the media, family, and the world wide public to marry for the wrong reasons.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Should William and Kate really tie the knot?

Last year, the rumor was that Kate Middleton and Prince William were going to announce an engagement for William's 28th birthday. I laughed. Now it's really really really going to happen this time for 2011: Kate and William to Marry in 2011.

My prediction? Kate and William will break-up.

Updating on my first three predictions: I can't believe how eerily accurate I was about Sandra Bullock and the kids thing. I said that Tiger and Elin would get divorced by the end of this summer. They did exactly that. I can't exactly brag about these two predictions, because they were exactly the kind of predictions that any idiot with an ounce of common sense could have made! But that was what the astrology was also saying would happen.

A lot of times, astrology and common sense line up. Sometimes they don't, as in the case Prince William and Kate Middleton. I have been predicting a break-up ever since they first publicly came out as a couple. I know they did very briefly break up in April of 2007. That was just a taste of things to come. I think 2011, particularly the latter half, will be when they finally break up. In the unlikely event they do get engaged or get married, I think it will fall apart in a very upsetting way. This is my "big" prediction because it's one that goes against common sense and popular opinion, etc etc. Seriously, if you just do a quick Google search with one of their names, you will see dozens, perhaps hundreds, of news articles written about their impending engagement. This has been going on for 5+ years. I really hope that Kate Middleton has a back-up plan for her life.

In addition to three heartbreak transits (so 6 total between the both of them), they both have their Saturn Returns in Libra coming up in late 2011 and 2012. That's make it or break it time. I could even envision something happening where there is a formal engagement announcement in 2011, and then it is broken off in 2012. Kate has seemingly spent her twenties molding her life around her boyfriend, and William has seemingly spent his twenties postponing his official royal duties and postponing an engagement/marriage decision. It's slightly worrisome, is it not?

From the position of an outsider who knows nothing about them, I must say that they seem like two very nice people and they seem like a perfect couple. They both seem very happy together when out in public, they both appear to be very bright, mature, down-to-earth people, they enjoy the same activities, athletics, and so on. But are they really, really being true to themselves with this relationship? That is what Saturn will be asking them over the next 1.5-2 years.

I won't pretend I know the inner workings of their relationship or their psyches, which is what every damn tabloid has been doing these past 5 years with this engagement hysteria. I only report on what I see in the stars: heartbreak.

Remember that the tarot card associated with Saturn in Libra is the Three of Swords:


Sunday, May 9, 2010

Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani

This is one of my biggest, "What the fuck?" couples. According to Wikipedia, they have been together for about 15 years. They are married. They have two kids. They look really cute together as a family.

But I don't understand how or why! They don't have any strong linkages. They have a lot of Saturn clashes, but nothing absolutely devastating. The best word for their astrology is: BORING. Now, maybe there is no truth to astrology at all and this is proof. Maybe one of them is lying to the public about their real date of birth. Or maybe there is something stable about the relationship that works for both of them.

There is this rumor going around that Gavin had an affair with Courtney Love. They have two infidelity clashes. I'm going to say it's totally possible, even though Courtney Love is crazy and not credible. It would not surprise me at all if it turned out to be true.

I looked at their individual charts and they both have aspects which show they are both prone to cheating. Very strange, for sure, since other than this one claim, I've never heard anything like that about either one of them. Maybe they are secretly swingers and that is how they stay together? I don't know.

Although they have been together forever by celebrity standards, and they seem so cute together, I don't think this will last. 30% chance of lasting.

Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp

I should start a separate celebrity blog, LOL. But speculating on the love lives of people I don't know is fun, so I will be working my way through Marissa's list of her favorite celebrity couples. . .

Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Depp

They are an interesting couple and making a prediction here is hard. They have tons of super strong linkages -- more than any celebrity couple I've looked at so far. They have one heartbreak clash though. I know they aren't married, but they seem to own a lot of property and I know Johnny Depp owns his own island. I'm curious if she owns it too. The reason I'm interested in their finances is because part of the heartbreak clash involves a financial issue. If they broke up, I see major money and property drama.

I'm not totally sure if they would break up though. It depends on how normal they actually are. I have seen couples with similar astrology (super strong linkages and only one bad clash) stay together for life. But these are celebrities!! I know that they are not exactly in Hollywood, but they are both pretty huge stars, and that always inflates the ego.

I give them a 51% chance of lasting. If there was a break up, it would involve major money drama.

Heidi Klum and Seal

By Marissa's request:

Heidi Klum and Seal

Reading the charts of celebrities is very tricky because different rules apply. The odds of a marriage working out for the long haul are so much lower with celebrities, so unless a couple has AMAZING astrology, it's always going to be more likely that it won't last. With real people, my rules on what a "deal breaker" aspect is are much more relaxed.

That being said, Heidi and Seal don't have terrible astrology, but they don't have amazing astrology either. Heidi's Saturn makes two Nuclear Clashes with Seal's Jupiter. I've found that Nuclear Clashes generally damage the Jupiter person's career or public image. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have, like, five or six of them. I guess Heidi is a bigger star than Seal, so maybe that is the trouble. They've got a few other Saturn Clashes, and one very strong linkage.

I give them about a 60% chance of lasting. That's fairly high for celebrity couples. I have seen celebrities with worse astrology than this (David Bowie and Iman, for example) last for decades, so that's why I'm guessing it's slightly more likely than not that they will stay together. If they do break up, it will be one of those, "Our careers were keeping us apart. . . we still love each other very much... blah blah" type of divorces. It will probably be Heidi's fault!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Brangelina and TomKat

Marissa & Jenna ask, and I deliver! I looked these two (or four?) up a while back and the astrological results are exactly what one would expect just using plain common sense!

Brangelina:

The only explanation for why these two are together is that Brad Pitt is a moron. They really do not have any kind of genuine compatibility. The soul/love linkages are not there. They don't even have great sex linkages! I'm serious. The only thing this couple has is Saturn Linkages and Clashes galore -- and Angelina Jolie is the Saturn person in ALL of them. What that means, in non-astrological talk, is that Angelina Jolie has dominating control over Brad Pitt and this is essentially why they are together.

I am very surprised that they have had three (?) kids so far. I never would have predicted that. It's very sad.

You know, I used to like Angelina Jolie. She was a good actress in the beginning and I liked her kick ass "I don't give a fuck" attitude. But after viewing her compatibility, or lack thereof, with Brad Pitt, I have no choice but to conclude that she is a psychopath. If I saw some indication in their astrology that this was really some type of irresistible love affair that neither one of them could fight against, I might be more understanding. But I don't see anything between them except Angelina Jolie's domination.

I can excuse Brad Pitt for this mess because I think Brad Pitt is a moron. Based on the astrology, Brad Pitt is like a mouse and she's the cat and this is (probably) her idea of what an ideal relationship is. It might be his too. I would not doubt that she deliberately set out to yank Brad Pitt out of his marriage. I think she likes the chase/challenge. I have doubts as to whether she would have been into Brad if he had been single when they met.

I'm not saying this because I'm mean and I don't like Angelina Jolie. I'm saying it because their astrology really is that bad/lopsided.



TomKat:

TomKat has the worst compatibility of any couple I have ever seen in my life. I've been doing readings for a long time, too. They've got FIVE Nuclear Clashes and Two Heartbreak Clashes. There's just no way, no how, that they can have a lasting marriage.

I do feel kind of bad for them. The do have some VERY strong soul/love linkages. I can see why Tom Cruise was so crazy about her. If you take away all the nuclear and heartbreak clashes, she's the best love match Tom Cruise has ever had, that I'm aware of. He had bad compatibility with Nicole Kidman and his first wife. I'm not a psychic, but this relationship (and the inevitable messy divorce) is probably very karmic for the both of them. I wouldn't be surprised if they have some type of crazy past life history.

If you think about it, the terrible astrology makes sense. From practically the moment they started dating, their careers and public reputations went up in smoke. There was so much backlash against them being together. I think that even if Tom Cruise hadn't jumped on that couch and hadn't done the whole crazy Scientology preaching thing, they'd still be a very unpopular couple. It's the age difference combined with something we can't quite put our fingers on. That something is probably THEIR ASTROLOGY.

LOL. Yeah, TomKat's days are numbered. If you are the praying type, pray that TomKat (and Brangelina too) stop having kids.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Couples in the News: William and Kate, Sandra and Jesse, Elin and Tiger

For years and years, I've had fun looking up the astrological information of celebrity couples and making predictions about whether they'll last or not. It's the best way to learn astrology -- a kind of trial and error approach -- and it sure beats making predictions about the love lives of people I actually know. I don't like to go there, if I can help it!

So here's a few (I've been right maybe 75% of the time):

Prince William and his girlfriend Kate Middleton:
Everything written about one or both of these people contains some type of engagement/wedding prediction, but I actually do NOT see them getting married. Prince William has THREE heartbreak clashes on Kate Middleton. I just do not think he is ever going to marry her, even though the entire planet thinks it is an inevitability. If they do get married, I predict a bad divorce. But thing is: I don't think they'll ever get that far, because Prince William's chart indicates he will have a very good marriage. I can see from their charts why they are attracted to one another and why they get along so well. Kate's Moon is conjunct William's Sun and North Node in Cancer. She is in many ways his ideal woman, but I just think that he is going to wind up breaking her heart!

Tiger and Elin:
I looked up their astrology when all the sexscapades starting breaking into the news and my first reaction was, "Elin is going to file for divorce." The reason I thought that was because in November, which was when she supposedly found out about Tiger's affairs, Elin was going through her Saturn Return. That means that this whole mess is a major life lesson, and a chance to turn her life around. I also could see from Tiger's chart that he had not learned a thing from what had happened. There is something wrong with him, IMO. He's mentally ill.
Anyways, come January/February, and I was very surprised and disappointed that Elin had not filed for divorce or anything yet. But that's probably because Saturn started its backwards slide in January. But it is coming back again for her -- twice. I would predict that by the end of the summer she'll be taking some kind of legal action.
It's not that I'm a big fan of divorce or anything -- there's just some relationships that cannot be fixed.

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James:
She's going to leave him. She's a Leo and they don't have any kids. I think she'd like to have kids. Most Leos do. I don't see any reason why they'd stay together. Their astrological compatibility isn't even that strong. They mostly have physical/sexual linkages, to be totally honest, but not much in the soul connection/love department!
Jesse James has a brutal double heartbreak transit coming up in September. Divorce court!
I also think that their breakup/divorce/etc is going to have a pretty negative impact on his public image.


Okay, that's it for now. If you have a favorite couple (celebrity or not) and want me to make a prediction, let me know. :P